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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29487459">Behind Closed Doors</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrezioseStelle/pseuds/PrezioseStelle'>PrezioseStelle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The X-Files</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt, Pain, i am sorry but this had to be written, idek why don't ask</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:41:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,288</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29487459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrezioseStelle/pseuds/PrezioseStelle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An au in which after Samantha dies Mulder is put into foster care by his parrents. He has special powers that allow him to move objects with his mind, and every foster family he's been with has always returned him back. Claiming he is useless and broken. But when he got a chance at finally having a family during the start of his middle school years, it wasn't all it was cracked Up to be. Secret cameras he set Up around the house recorded his pain, abuse, and torture as he struggled to survive.</p><p>Many years later he joined the FBI, and ever wondered if his past would come back to haunt him. But with the help of his friends John, Monica, and Skinner, and with the help of his love, Scully, he learns the world can be a better place. He confides in them, and promises to bring in every last criminal to justice, including his own "parrents" who hurt him every chance they could get. Either dead, or alive.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fox Mulder &amp; Dana Scully, Fox Mulder/Dana Scully, John Doggett &amp; Monica Reyes, John Doggett/Monica Reyes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Pensieri</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>~~ 10 years ago ~~</p>
<p>"This is my 5th foster family, and I was hopping things would turn out fine. But all you care about is only yourself. You wouldn't even care if I died, you'd all be so happy!!" Mulder screamed as he ran up to his room and shut his door. For years, he had shifted around from foster home to foster home, in hopes that his life would be normal again. His parrents put him in foster care after his sister died, and the pain they felt about the whole thing rubbed off on him. But, they didn't seem to care that he was gone. He was out of there lives, and had to start anew. It wasn't what he preferred, but because of this he found out he was different. He took this as a chance to get back at the people who had done him wrong, but it never worked out, and instead he was sent back time and time again it seemed. No one wanted a freaky kid who could move objects with his mind. But when he found his 5th foster family, he knew he had to keep his abilities a secret, no matter what. It wasn't going to be easy but he knew he had to try, but the constant put down of him only fueled his anger even more, and at this point, he couldn't even stand to look at his parrents anymore. But he knew if he hurt them with his powers, he would only be destroying himself even further. He had no future, had no life, just himself, and he wasn't even so sure he could trust himself much anymore either. He was weak, from lack of food, and was constantly irritable. He always seemed to snap, and took out the anger on his walls, writing out expletives directed towards his parrents left and right or writing messages to himself to never forget. He never forgot any of these messages, and they always stuck to his brain, even he couldn't see the walls of his room. He knew his mind brought him here for some reason, brought him here to his past during his dreams, and he always knew his dreams were ment to have some sort of purpose. But before he could even think anymore he woke up from his nightmares, tugging on his lost sleep, and his lost comfort.</p>
<p>~~Present day~~</p>
<p>"You never loved me, you never cared about me." The words stung on his tongue as he repeated the phrase over and over again. The hurt, building up inside of him again until he had no strength left to do anything but cry. The cold of his tears fell onto his bare skin, and he could feel himself getting chills. He always knew where they were, always knew when they wanted to hurt him. It had been many times before he had upset them, and this time was no different. He slunk back onto the ground and looked around at the same bedroom floor. The room he was accustomed to for many years. But he, of all people, could never bring himself to like it, or much of anything for that manner. He was unwanted and unloved, and picked on so much at school he dropped out just before the start of his sophomore year of high school. Which, this decision extremely infuriated his parrents. With not even a simple bit of time to explain he was locked in his room, never to come out unless called. The room was dull, not much in it besides a mattress, some clothes, and some razors kept in a box. There was a ton of blood splatted all over the room, and a ton of carvings made from his razors lined the walls. The mattress had nothing on it, and a pile of dirty clothes was set about in the side of his room. There was a huge hole in his door, and an even bigger one in his closet, from when he tried to escape. His shirt he was wearing was lined with blood and spit, and he never had anything clean to wear. Even his own suit for work got so dirty and damaged he barely wore it anymore. This life was something he didn't appreciate, and being abused was something he dreaded alongside it. But he didn't have the heart to tell anyone the truth. He kept it all to himself, always letting his anger boil up into rage filed tears. A habit which, he'd never outgrow. He looked around the room and found the razors again. A feeling he so longed for in a time like this. It was always this way, it was the only way he could cope. His life sucked, he had no one besides himself, and he always found some way to get in trouble or get hurt. It was his life, and he got accustomed to dealing with it. Always wondering if there would be a way out. But even now, many years later, he still sat in this same room. He was in his late 20's, and having to still dealing with the pain wasn't something he enjoyed. He was still abused, despite the fact that he was gone from home a lot. He got a job, because of what he can do the FBI hired him to help them catch criminals. He had a nice team, with his new friends John, Dana, Skinner, and Monica. But even they didn't know, what had been happening, behind closed doors. They didn't even know about his powers, or anything much about him besides the fact that was, and is a huge geek, and he preferred it this way. He sat up, staring at the razors ever so slightly again, and told himself, there is always a reason for this, and tonight's wounds, will be no different. He pressed the blade to his skin and smiled, as he let all the negative feelings of dread and hate washed over him as he also thought about what tomorrow might bring. The blood spilled all over the floor and on his shirt as he sniffed the air around him. He had work tomorrow, so he knew he would have to hide the cuts somehow, and he also knew, he vowed to himself, that no one would find out what was going on behind closed doors.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Vuoto</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the next day, and he wasn't at work because he was forced to stay home. The water from the shower flooded and even though it wasn't his fault he was blamed for it and hence was forced to stay home. He didn't care for this, care for this life he had, though he knew his coworkers would be worried he didn't care. He wanted to do nothing but cry again until nothing more could come out. He was empty inside, and broken. A husk of the person he used to be, an empty shell left out and ignored. Mulder starred at the wall again, reminding himself of the words he wrote, the sayings he has said, and let them stick to his self as his phone rang. He ignored it, choosing instead to listen to his mind, and let his thoughts wander. He didn't want anyone to see him like this, or for anyone to see him at all. He starred at the wall one last time, before closing his eyes and listening to his mind for a while.</p><p>"Sir, he isn't answering his phone. It's the third time this week he has skipped work and I am starting to get very worried for him and his safety"</p><p>"Scully, I am sure he is fine. Though, if he doesn't show up for work soon he will be fired. I hope he knows that."</p><p>"You wouldn't actually do that sir, would you?"</p><p>"Well agent Scully, I would prefer not to. But in this case, we might have to." The words lingered in her mind as she decided she was going to go find him. She couldn't risk loosing him, not now, and not ever. But, she just sat in her chair motionless and unbothered by the world around her. Only one thought was on her mind, find Mulder alive. It was all she was worried about, and for all she knew, he could be long gone. But she wasn't going to entertain the thoughts in her head quite yet. She heard John and Monica speaking to one another, and snapped out of her thoughts as she looked around her. She knew they would find him, and she knew that there was a glitter of hope. He would be alive, she knew, that he would live once more.</p><p>~~~~~</p><p>Mulder listened to his thoughts, let the world around him take shape as his parrents came home. He stayed in his room like he was told to do, but still somehow managed to get an ass whooping. He grimaced as the blows became harder and harder. Clinching his teeth and staggering his breathes he muttered a soft fuck you before they left the room. Causing him to scream and punch his wall. Why was there no way out why was there no safe place for him. The pain creeped up on his mind as he opened his hands, letting the loose razor he had fall to the floor with a thump as he laid down on his hard mattress. The blood, seeping through his clothes and tainting his skin as he cried once more. Cried for a life he wishes he had, and cried for the life he really wanted. Letting his mind wander and drift to his carvings on the wall as the blood soon fell beneath his aching body. The violent blows, the thought of the violence seeking through his mind as the blood pooled around him. He knew he had to escape, he knew he had to leave this pain behind. But somewhere, somehow, their was nothing he could do. He didn't want anyone to think he was weak, and most of all, he didn't want anyone to know his pain. It was a part of his life he wanted to forget but never could, though, he did try so hard to be left alone. Not letting anyone in to his secrets and his pain. It was what he preferred though he knew he had to be saved, even if it ment letting go of the one thought that always was to be spoken. T R U S T  N O  O N E.</p><p>Scully, Monica, and Doggett all looked at each other in concern. Of course, it wasn't like Mulder to be missing work for days on end. But they had a way to find him, and they knew they would find him, no matter what it took. The same thought still crossed Scully's mind, as she spoke out to herself, these same words of reassurance. Find Mulder alive. The words rang through the room as she shed a tear. Wondering in someway if Mulder was even still alive. He always called her, even when he wasn't at work and she knew she needed him now more than ever. She was incomplete without him, and the emptiness of his presence left her feeling alone and afraid. The emptiness of her mind creeping up on her as she starred out the office door, and reminded herself of the same phrase. Find Mulder alive. It was her words of comfort right now. Knowing somewhere somehow Mulder was clinging on just for her. She loved him, and he loved her. Though no one really knew besides John and Monica, they knew how important Mulder was to her even from the start. They vowed to find Mulder alive, and her words of hope comforted her on as she starred out the office door once more. </p><p>~~~~~</p><p>He sat in his room again starring up at his wall, it was really all he had to do in his free time, and it was something he grew fond of. He would throw pencils up on his celling and make them stick, and would count to himself the many different ways he could still stay alive right now. It wasn't much, but at least it would distract him from the pain and the blows he felt every day. A feeling he knew wouldn't wash away anytime soon. Mulder knew he hated them, and if he could find a safe way out he would. But he knew if he left he would only be dead. He only left the house for work, and even then, he never felt safe, protected, or wanted. He looked out the window now, wondering how everyone could be so happy and content, knowing the world was one big ball of torture. His life was hell, his life was pain, but he only wished people knew so he could be saved, and be safe. But as he always told himself, he knew to trust no one, and even if he did say something, it's not like anyone would care anyways. For all his life he had been unwanted, unloved, not cared for. But now, looking around, it was still all he had, himself. He relayed on himself for everything and he knew it wouldn't be easy to admit to his friends, and his love, what was going on. He had to at some point, but the nagging thoughts always came back. T R U S T  N O  O N E. It was his phrase, his word, and his last ray of hope as he looked out the window once more, before closing it. Loosing his final senses of the outside world.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Will update when I am not lazy, and a fair warning, this story can be graphic or triggering at some parts so don't read if your not into sh, abuse, mistreatment, etc etc. This fic in no way condones these actions and if any of this is happening to you irl/online etc etc I encourage you to get help. Also, will not be replying to any comments full of hate and criticisms as one I have no time for them and two, no one fucking cares what you gotta say if it ain't gonna be nice. If you have any comments, questions, or even suggestions feel free to post and I will awnser you as soon as I can!! I expect this fic to be updated at least once a week, if not more, but I am starting class again in a few days, so I don't know if I will always have time, but until then enjoy I guess and I suppose I will try my best to write more. This will be my first long fan fiction to be done on A03.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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